In the world of faith and recovery, we have discussed this human thing, the common messed-up thing, and lastly the God’s grace thing. I have walked these trails for many years. I am taking some time for the next podcasts to tell some stories. The names are changed to protect the guilty and the innocent. I will change to details and times, but the stories actually happened.
The navy taught me to shut down. Survivor wasn’t a thing back then, but the social game was a jungle and you could not escape. It might have been a class in radar school where I was systematically bullied verbally. It could have been living in sleeping compartment with 35 sailors stuffed into a space the size of a living room. The fact was there were few ways to escape, Everything depended on your social game. If you were an aspie you had no social game. You were vulnerable. So you medicated. I chose booze.
I soon learned it wasn’t personal it was just the jungle of it. In retrospect, I had no clue and no defense. And I did not know the Lord. I did the best I could. I was a preacher’s kid. but I did not get Jesus to an operational level. I did it myself. And I did it badly. I made it through 6 years. In the early years, I drank whenever I could. I had not developed an inventory of defenses. I have learned in later years I am on the autistic spectrum someplace. I coped by drinking and isolating to get peace.
From the perspective of age and years of sobriety, I can see clearly. I was vulnerable and the Lord protected me from the worst stuff. I did in one period on the ship think of killing myself during an especially trying time.
But I learned something. it’s not personal it is just the business of living with people who are often opaque and dangerous. And some are surprisingly wonderful and a blessing. All this is disguised and often hidden. It took me all my life to realize in many cases I am not equipped to discern this stuff. This is common denominator 3. We are complex and hidden beings.
I learned something the hard way. Few people are the way they appear or project themselves to be. This is the human game.
I ran a sober house for 5 !/2 years. I got played every way there was to be played. Professing Christain people in recovery scammed me and ripped me off. Thank God there were some with solid recovery who stuck by me and kept me going. In the early days, some ran criminal activities from the house. Others just stole from me. Others played every angle of getting free rent. Others who were professing Christian lived horrid examples of Christian walks and made any effort to bring people to the Lord impossible. Many of my guys knew what Jesus thing was and these examples were disgusting to them,
I learned we humans are actors in a game.
There was a series of movies called the hunger games. Finding safe places in the game is tricky. And what seems safe may not be safe from various perspectives.
This is the common denominator three. Both faith and recovery claim to be a safe refuge from the beasties out there. Both in varying degrees have failed to be a safe refuge. And both will answer to the ultimate common denominator, God himself!
In all fellowships, you can find some victims or perpetrators. I didn’t have a name for it or acknowledge it, but I searched for safe places. I drank and I hid. As I look back on the influence of my collisions with powerless situations I see better why I went the way I did.
Recovery groups and faith groups are populated with hurt and vulnerable people. And they are populated with predators who graze on the fertile fields of vulnerability.
The church sees itself as a hospital for sinners. AA and other recovery groups build their basic goal of helping others achieve recovery.
A common challenge for both groups is to accept the mandate to make their spaces a safe place.
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